I’m probably not the person you need to be reading.
Tyler is by far the better writer in this marriage. She has a way with words that can make you cry and then laugh in the same sentence. I’m not joking… it literally happened this morning when I was reading Tyler’s pregnancy announcement post on her blog. If you want a funny and emotional post about this pregnancy announcement, stop now… go to her post… and continue reading.
I, on the other hand, have brain vomit when I write. Especially when something this major and exciting is happening. I’m going to attempt to sort it all out for you in the following paragraphs. Please, bear with me.
Was this pregnancy a surprise?
When Tyler and I first started dating, we both wanted to be up front about what we wanted. We’re in our 30s, so we both are pretty aware of what we want in a relationship. She asked me early on (like… 2nd date early) if I wanted to have any more babies. I’m thankful we had that conversation because it opened up communication about the big stuff right away… no need to mess around if your future doesn’t align, amirite?
In that sense of the question… no, it wasn’t a surprise. However…
In your 30s, it’s typically more difficult to conceive so we thought we’d laissez faire kinda start trying. We didn’t chat with a doctor or anything about it, and thought we’d give it a go on our own, and if nothing happened within a year we’d take a deeper look.
In that sense of the question… YES, it was a total surprise!
We thought it would take a bit, but a month after our honeymoon, I got a strange call…
How did Tyler tell you?
I work at home a lot of days. When I get cabin fever and need a change of scenery, I typically hit up Onyx, Puritan, or a local brewery. The day I got the call, I was posted up at Bikerack. Tyler called me and it went a little something like this:
Tyler: Hey! Where are you working today?
Me: Hi! I’m at Bikerack… having a beer and editing pictures.
Tyler: Wanna come home and have a drink here before I have to go to back to work?
Me: On my way!
When I got home, I saw that she had popped a bottle of champagne. That’s not necessarily excessive because we took a trip to Napa and signed up for a sparkling wine club; however, it was one of the “nice” bottles.
Tyler: Have a drink! (pours me a glass) Sorry I can’t have one with ya.
Me: (a few seconds of silence) (brain wheels turning) (noticed she is smiling) “OMG… really?”
What did Cece and Ellie think?
Ellie was the first person I told. Obviously. She, Tyler, and I went to lunch and gave her the news. Immediately she was so happy. I didn’t expect anything different. That kid is as solid as they come. So mature and empathetic and genuine.
Cece, on the other hand, is a bit tricky. We talked with Cece’s mom about how best to tell her. She said that she isn’t sure Cece will understand. We are still going to share that with her over the next few weeks and months, but I’m open to tips on this one! How do you tell a child with ASD and is semi-verbal (aka mostly non-verbal) about something abstract and have them understand? I’m thinking I’ll tell her repeatedly that there is a little baby in Ty’s tummy that is growing and growing and will appear around Cece’s birthday (we’re due within a week of Cece’s birthday!). Thoughts? (no really… if you have ideas, leave me a comment.
What’s going through your mind?
Oh you know… only a million things. First, let the worrying start all over again. If you’re already a parent, you get it: the worrying never stops. Realizing that you can’t protect your kid from everything, whether it be boyfriends or autism, there are some things that are just out of your control. And it’s scary as hell.
I’m excited for the little things: playing dress up, snuggling in bed, baby smells, reading books… even cleaning up food splatter. We are about to embark on a new adventure together, and my teammate is really incredible. I feel exhilaration when I imagine Tyler as a full-time mom.
Is it a boy or a girl? Since we aren’t finding out the sex before birth, we have a lot of anticipation and excitement leading up to the birth of our baby. I’ll admit that I’ve already done some clothes shopping (and Tyler has bought a few things for the nursery) that are gender-neutral and have had a blast. Regardless of sex, I’m sure our baby will share a love of music, good style, sports, old movies, and maybe even skateboarding.
Wrap it up, Dale. Bless.
We’re having a baby… and we are super excited!